“Angling” for a better deal?

The deep sea anglerfish lives very, very deep in the ocean. As in, the pitch-black nearly lifeless depths of 3000 feet. Ever see the Disney movie Finding Nemo? Remember that incredibly ugly fish with the little blue light dangling on an antennae thingy that tried to eat Marlin and Dory? That’s what I’m talking about. Anywho, I was reading up on the anglerfish (don’t ask me why!), and come to find out, the ugly fish I’m used to seeing is only the female form of this bizarre fish. Here’s a quote from this website:

“The deep sea anglerfish has an extremely unusual method of reproduction. The male angler is much smaller than the female and completely different in appearance. It is about the size of a small finger and black in color. When a male angler matures, its digestive system degenerates, making it impossible for it to feed on its own. It must now find a female or die of starvation. The male angler has small hook teeth, which it uses to attach itself to the female. Once he bites into her skin, he releases an enzyme that dissolves the skin of his mouth and that of her body. The two become fused together and their blood vessels join as one. The male will spend the rest of its life joined to the female like a parasite, getting all of his nourishment from her body. A female can carry up to six males on her body at a time. This bizarre method of reproduction helps to ensure that when the female is ready to spawn, she has a mate instantly available.”

Random thought: this male fish sure reminds me of the male pinecone I wrote about in my previous post.

Back to the point at hand: I assume that the anglerfish’s astounding mating method is a near necessity considering the breeding ground’s lack of light and very vast space. Otherwise, finding a mate during spawning season would be as difficult as finding cute heels in a size 11.5. And I tell you what, don’t feel sorry for that tiny little lump of a male stuck to his woman; he gets free food, a free ride, and doesn’t have to look at her ugly mug at breakfast every morning.

A Tale Of Two Pinecones

A couple weekends ago my mom and I were walking my parents’ two acre yard with my son. He was loving the grassy freedom; his little knees were stepping high as he jogged from one new sight to another. Now, I have to explain that scattered around the yard are pine trees of various sizes. You know those little pre-decorated trees that are sold in plastic plant pots wrapped with Christmas-y cellophane in grocery stores? We used to buy one each year when I was a kid and yep, my parents spared their lives by planting them at the end of the season. Well, as we passed by one of the smaller, skinnier trees, my mom found an incredibly large pinecone resting below it on the ground. We looked at the pinecone. We looked at the tree. Dang, that tree sure knew how to grow ‘em. Later in our walk we passed by one of the bigger, brawnier trees, and reclining daintily on the ground below that tree was this little bitty, “gee aren’t you cute” pinecone. Interesting.

Later, my mom shared our story with my dad and husband. We were all snickering at the ridiculousness of the puny tree that birthed a giant pinecone, and the pitiful attempt of the hulking giant. But here’s the real punch line of the story: a few days earlier my dad had found the large pinecone in the yard and had thrown it under the tiny tree, on purpose. Yeah, my dad loves a good chuckle.

So, I shared that information in order to have a reason to share this information: pinecones have gender! Who knew? Well, I guess the cones know, and all the tree experts out there. It makes sense, really. The average flower has both boy and girl parts so that it can self-reproduce. Why then wouldn’t the average pine tree have boy and girl cones? According to this website, male cones “are clustered, are much smaller and deteriorate quickly. They really shouldn't be called cones, although there is not a good common term for them”, and female cones are the true pinecones that we usually see. The male cones release pollen, which fertilizes the ovules in the female ones. So, next time you pick up a fallen pinecone, please handle her gently; she may just be in the family way.

How To Succeed In Business

Sellers: too much supply? Create your own demand!

So, I was browsing Ebay for paintings, and to grant this less than affluent girl a giggle, I sorted the search results by price, highest first. This topped the list at the spray-water-through-my-nose Buy It Now price of $12 meeellion dollars. American. “Is it a Picasso?” you ask. Nope, some guy named Anthony Falbo. According to Falbo’s About the Seller page, he’s one of today’s “Finest Contemporary Artists”, and “Through the years, many of Falbo's pieces have been collected and stored in a variety of Galleries and Museums throughout the country and in many of the wealthiest private collections all over the world.” Okay, if you say so.

Now, I’m not in any way critiquing Falbo as an artist, because that's not important, and maybe he really is very successful on a broader world stage than Ebay. But who in their right mind is going to plunk down $12 million bucks on a painting, sight unseen, Picasso or not? Interestingly, as I scrolled through the listing I read this: “Suggested Gallery Retail Price $1,000,000”. So, he’s trying to sell a painting for more than it’s worth, and openly acknowledging it? But wait, there’s more: “Make An Offer!! Serious offers only please. Any offers under $8,200.00 will bw [sic] automatically rejected. The highest offer will win this painting”. Ah-ha! Now I understand what’s going on here. The $12 million dollar Buy It Now price is just another marketing ploy. An unsuspecting Ebay browser searches for paintings, sees the astounding price tag and thinks, “Wow! This painting must be something totally incredible to be worth that much. Let me just click on the listing….Oh, wow! The artist is willing to sell for a price that I can almost afford. Hey, I’m going to make an offer because I just HAVE TO HAVE this amazing piece of art that is worth so much!” Now do you see what I mean about creating demand? We consumers think that the more something costs, the more we just have to have it, no matter how unnecessary. Expensive designer water, anyone?

Money CAN Buy Me Love

Or at least a hand-crafted sterling silver representation of the dopamine neurotransmitter, which is largely responsible for giving us the feeling of being in love. Check out this charming necklace sold on Etsy. It’s made by the talented and loving hands of Raven Hanna, a PhD holding scientist-artist living in San Francisco. I’ve had a custom bracelet made by this friendly lady in the past, so I can personally attest to the beauty and quality of her work. I highly recommend you browse her shop, as there are many creative treats to be admired.

In the product description of another of her products, Raven writes: “When we are in love, we experience the effects of dopamine, a neurotransmitter from the pleasure and reward pathway. Dopamine is powerful and it can be wonderful, causing effects such as excitement, focus, and intense pleasure.” What a fabulous little molecular marvel this dopamine is! Too bad it's not sold at my local Safeway. But seriously, who drew the short straw and won the privilege of naming this chemical that makes us feel love, anyways? Say it out loud with me: “dope-a-meen”. Sounds more like a chemical that would make us slobbering fools. Oh, wait…I guess that’s pretty appropriate, isn’t it?